STAYING GROUNDED

Here are some tips for staying grounded and hopeful.

Staying sane after our house burned down was a concerted effort. In retrospect, there were three things that really helped. Maybe one of them will be helpful to you, too. 

  • iO, Co-Founder, PostFire

1.

ACCEPTANCE

Buddhists, twelve-step programs, therapists, and meditation masters will all tell you the same thing: Our resistance to having been wounded can be more painful than the wound itself. 


After our house burned down, the single most helpful thing I did for my heart was accept that it was gone. “If only” and “I wish…” sent me into spirals of sadness and nostalgia. Sadness can yield fruitful emotional releases, but my sadness spreads - once it takes hold, it becomes mighty hard to shake off. 


If you’d like a little help towards developing a radical acceptance practice, “When Things Fall Apart”, by Pema Chödrön,  is a world-renowned classic for good reason (and it’s short!). 


2.

DOPAMINE

When recovery felt like an endless slog, it was the tiny wins that pulled me through; Phase 2 of debris removal being completed; Sending in my contents inventory; Getting a dining table and chairs where we could feed our friends. 

 

That’s why we built the PostFire portal the way we did - every completed task is a victory, and the more you gamify it for yourself, the more you can turn those little dopamine rewards into fuel - like snacks in your backpack for your long journey. 


Any time you need a reminder that it’s not all hopeless, go back and look at all those completed tasks in your Action Plan. You’re doing an amazing job with this crazy process.


3.

Community


Total Loss recovery is arduous; total loss recovery alone is almost impossible. I am not a group-therapy person (which you might be, and should lean into!) - for me, being around people trying to help others was an incredible boon to my spirit.

People who didn’t understand what we were all going through could feel isolating, so I spent a lot of time with folks who were giving of themselves and creating solutions. 


When you’re feeling down, there’s nothing better than being of service and letting those who love you be of service to you. I know it’s uncomfortable, but sometimes you have to let people give to you, too.